So we just got notice that the owner of the townhouse we've been renting the better part of for years is selling. Also B doesn't want to sign another lease because "we are stunting each others personal growth" so I have three months to find a new place to live in the city that's not only hard to find a place BUT extra expensive.
So much stressing.....so close to breaking I'm not even sure where to begin :( tried to go swimming at lunch. But of course its elementary schools swimming lesson day. And I the brilliant crazy lady never checked the website. Anyways no stress relief - or as the 'professionals' call it coping mehanism there.
Spent the afternoon crying at my desk...got home walked my dog with my friend K who is the only person in the world I think who actually gets it. Felt nice to talk and have someone just listen. Its also Ks birthday. 🎉🎊🎁
Get home fall apart. Hysterics doesn't begin to cover it. I'm shutting down and I can feel it. I know the severity of the situation. It sucks not even bring able to do right by your son. Not even being able to afford to keep a roof over his house, yet working full time.
How to tell him that his entire world is changing forever and prepare him in three months. Especially when he freaks over little things like transitioning from play time to bedtime.
Really just want to give up. I'm worth more dead than alive really.....honestly considered going through. Gave in to my urges and cut. The release of the pressure is instant. Don't understand why it's wrong. Now I can cope till the next moment......
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